Empathy and compassion towards one another enrich our life experiences significantly.
As a child, Saturday morning cartoons were my favorite pastime. The stories were straightforward, the action was exhilarating, and the heroes and villains were clearly defined. Popeye was good, and Brutus was bad. That clear-cut distinction was something a child could easily grasp.
However, as I matured, I discovered that life is far more intricate. I quickly recognized that every person I encounter embodies a blend of both good and bad traits. No one is all good or all bad.
This realization doesn’t mean we shouldn’t make judgments. Understanding that a bear isn’t purely malevolent doesn’t imply that approaching it is a wise choice.
It requires a blend of empathy and compassion to appreciate that individuals cannot be easily categorized into fixed labels.
Moreover, grasping the full reality of any situation can be quite difficult, too. In my youth, my brothers and cousins frequently gathered at our grandparents’ house. Like many children, we would bicker and then dash to Grandma, eager for her to support our side.
In those moments, Grandma would say, “When you point a finger at someone, three fingers are pointing back at you.”
I must admit, as a child, I didn’t fully grasp the depth of her words, though they did put an end to our tattling. Yet, as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to appreciate the profound symbolism and wisdom behind this well-known saying.
What’s the Real Story?
The first time my grandmother met my future husband, she recounted an amusing story to us.
One Sunday afternoon, a newlywed couple found themselves in the kitchen, excitedly preparing a roast beef dinner. After the wife seared the meat on the stove, she sliced off an inch from one end and tucked it into the side of the roasting pan.
Curious, the husband asked, “Why do you cut a piece off?”
“I’m not sure,” she replied. “It’s just how my mother always did it.”
Weeks later, during a visit to her family, the husband seized the chance to inquire about this peculiar cooking method. He turned to his mother-in-law and asked why she cut the roast before cooking it in the oven.
She shrugged her shoulders and said, “That’s how my mother taught me.”
Determined to uncover the truth, the husband called his wife’s grandmother that evening.
“Grandma, why do both your daughter and granddaughter cut off the end beef roast before cooking it?”
With a chuckle, Grandma explained, “When my children were little, we didn’t have much money. I only owned one small roasting pan, and the only way to fit the whole roast was to trim a piece off and squeeze it in.”
Her story highlighted an important lesson: couples should approach each other with empathy and compassion to prevent conflicts. It’s a reminder that our methods aren’t always the only right ones.
It Takes Empathy and Compassion to Understand Each Other
I have a two-year-old granddaughter who is bursting with thoughts and ideas. It’s clear she has so much to express, yet her language skills are still developing. She can only manage a handful of words that are often hard to decipher. This leads to moments of frustration for her when we can’t grasp what she means. This often results in a temper tantrum where she stamps her feet and screams loudly. How I wish I could peek into her mind and understand the thoughts she longs to share but can’t articulate yet.
The same feelings of frustration are experienced by adults when they are misunderstood. For instance, in Spanish, there are at least five different verbs to convey the nuances of love, while English offers just one. Our ability to communicate is often constrained by language, culture, and education. It’s remarkable that we can connect at all. It requires patience from everyone involved to truly comprehend what another person is trying to convey.
From Judge to the Judged
We often take the easy route when trying to understand someone by placing them into neat categories. Think about the familiar cliques in high school: the popular crowd, the athletes, the intellectuals, the theater enthusiasts, and so forth.
This method of judgment is not only overly simplistic but also frequently misguided. Unfortunately, we tend to base our interactions on these hasty assessments, treating people according to our preconceived notions. What we often overlook, as a poignant poem my grandmother cherished reminds us, is that we are not the only ones making hasty judgments.
Judge Ye Not --Unknown Author
I dreamed that death came the other night
And heaven’s gate swung wide.
With kindly grace an angel
Ushered me inside.
And there to my astonishment
Stood folks I’d known on earth,
Some I’d judged and labeled
As “unfit” or of “little worth”.
Indignant words rose to my lips
But were never set free,
For on every face showed stunned surprise—
No one expected me!
See other posts from my Grandma’s Treasures collection:
Ageless Journies was originally created as a place to share the best of 360 degree videos on YourTube for exploring the world. Grandma’s Treasures is an addition to this website. Feel free to explore the VR Tour Guide page if you are interested in learning more about virtual travel with our without a virtual reality headset.
If you have any thoughts about this poet or would like to share other favorite poems on aging gracefully, please feel free to comment below. Thank You!
